How to Pee Postpartum (Without Crying)

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I kid you not, peeing was the single worst thing about postpartum recovery for me.

(And that’s saying alot, because I pooped myself postpartum. )

If you’ve come upon this post in a desperate search (painful urination postpartum perhaps?) well, I’m guessing it’s not all fun and games for you either.

I swore that when I was all recovered and back at blogging, I would write the helpful postpartum stuff I couldn’t find online anywhere while I was healing and googling.

Googling things like how to pee postpartum without crying (or feeling like you’d rather give birth all over again).

12 times per day.

Because you are drinking enough water to sink a ship. Because you are trying to make breast milk. Even though you don’t want to… because it will make you have to pee. And peeing makes you cry.

Let’s face it… the postpartum period is unlike anything else you’ve ever been through before. It is glorious and amazing – you finally have your baby and you are totally in love. And it is overwhelming. It is messy. You have open wounds. You feel like @#$%.

No? Just me?

(I didn’t have terrible awful damage either – I did get stitches two days after delivering, when everything had already started to heal a bit, and I think that made it all a little worse.)

You’ve got your peri bottle, and you’re being a good girl and using it every time you pee – right? If you’re a lucky lady, the peri bottle alone might be enough to get you through those trips to the potty.

But that thing didn’t help me one bit and if anything it hurt worse than the peeing. I HATED that bottle. I used it – being sure to keep everything rinsed clean helps to prevent infection – but I HATED it.

Take heart- each day that goes by is a day closer to throwing the peri bottle in the garbage and taking pain-free-peeing for granted once again.

Even if this tip doesn’t help you out, at least I can commiserate with you on this, and it’s always good to know you’re not alone – right?

Related: 8 Things that Totally Shocked Me About Postpartum Recovery

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How to pee postpartum (with minimal pain)

I tried all. the. ways. to pee that I could think of. I even tried peeing in a bathtub with a few inches of water in it to TOTALLY water down the pee. Which didn’t help one bit. (If you’re judging me for how gross that is, you’re not in nearly enough pain to be reading this.)

It took me a few days to find the thing that did work:

Sit a little further back on the toilet, and lean ALL THE WAY FORWARD (I seriously rested my forearms on the ground but if you aren’t that acrobatic, a low stool placed in front of you might be helpful ) – so your bum is up in the air and the pee is falling forward and down instead of running over your body.

If you’re still a little shaky from delivery, standing up in the bath tub so the pee falls STRAIGHT down works pretty good too.

Basically, don’t let the pee touch you.

You’d think this would be easy to come up with, but my brain was full and I’m just sharing in case yours is too. Maybe it was the drugs, but it took me DAYS of crying while I peed to finally give this a try.

The end.

(You’re welcome.)

Related: How to Take An Effective Postpartum Sitz Bath
Related: Remember Mommy, This Too, Shall Pass