7 Stupid Things Pregnant Women Are Sick of Hearing

I’d be lying if I said I missed being pregnant.

(I wrote this after my first pregnancy, and never shared it. As I’m wrapping up my second pregnancy, and feeling ABOUT as awesome as I did at the end of the last pregnancy – but with a toddler to chase on top of that, it feels good to publish a little sarcasm.)

People used to tell me I’d miss it. I was pretty sure they were wrong… and it turns out I was right about them being wrong. (I thought I might miss feeling the baby moving, but if we’re totally honest, I like hugging him outside of me now even more, so I don’t even miss that.) I did not like being pregnant. Being pregnant is really, really hard sometimes.

For months I was sick, and couldn’t find ANYTHING that sounded like food. Then I had to pee. Every 12 minutes. I developed some sort of post nasal drip that irritated the bananas out of me and kept me awake at night, and I couldn’t take anything for it. My husband had to sleep in a different room because I cleared my throat so often at night he couldn’t sleep. Then my back started to hurt – and it never stopped hurting. Debilitating pain. I laid on the couch and cried. My whole body was uncomfortable. I had pregnancy anxiety. I ran out of clothes that I could wear in public.

I couldn’t sleep in the second trimester because of the post nasal drip and the peeing, and I couldn’t sleep in the third trimester because of the back pain… and the peeing.

Related: How to FINALLY get some sleep while pregnant

I realized, somewhere at the beginning of the 8th month, that if one more person said “sleep now while you can!” – with an obnoxious wink – I might just deliver the baby in prison.

Thus the birth of this post.

(THIS POST PROBABLY CONTAINS AFFILIATE LINKS. OUR FULL DISCLOSURE POLICY IS REALLY BORING, BUT YOU CAN FIND IT HERE.)

stupid things people say to pregnant women. (Yes, she does want to hit you.) #pregnant #momlife #baby #pregnancy #thirdtrimester

Things I will never say to a pregnant woman – because they are either not true, (or they are true – but I don’t want to be beaten with a stick)

They would say – “Sleep now while you can!”

And I would think – “If could sleep now I would, you moron.”

Being reminded (when you’re already dead tired) that you have three years of sleepless nights ahead is NOT helpful OR funny. And EVERYONE says it… EVERYDAY. It is old. Yes, now that the baby is here I am still dead tired, but “collecting” a bunch of sleep before he got here wouldn’t have helped even if I could have slept.

They would say – “It’s fine, you’re eating for two now!”

And I would think – “No, I’m hardly eating for one. All food the is gross. Sure, you might be witnessing me take a third potato, but potato is literally all I can eat – so shut up.”

 …and similarly (but different), a few months later – “Oh, eating for two now eh?!”

“No. I am just this large. And I will sit on you and crush you if you don’t shut up.”

Do not comment on a pregnant woman’s eating habits. She’s probably going to throw it all up anyway, and if you provoke her, she might aim at you next time.

Related: Check out this ultimate pregnancy and baby planner!  

They would say – “Enjoy some time with your husband before the baby comes!”

And I would think – “My husband isn’t even sleeping in the same bed as me, because I have replaced him with pillows in an effort to get some of that sleep you speak of. Plus I’m working 118 hours per week to try to pad our bank account before I quit work. I don’t even remember what he looks like.”

It’s just plain not helpful to remind a pregnant woman how much her life is going to change. She’s probably already nervous about that stuff. On top of that, perhaps you should prioritize time with your husband! Don’t ignore him just because you have kids.

They would say – “Kids are so expensive…”

And I would think – “Then if you really wanted to be helpful, you’d give me money instead of advice.”

(Besides, it doesn’t have to cost THAT much to raise kids – read this: Preparing for baby on a budget or this 5 ways to save thousands raising kids.)

They would roll their eyes and say – “Well, you won’t have time for that anymore after the baby comes!”

And I would think – “Tell me more about how my life is dissolving into a hopeless pit of nothing but laundry and desperate attempts to make a tiny human sleep…I can’t wait for that!”

They would say – “When I had my first/ second/ third baby my vagina blew up/ got shredded/ fell off completely and there wasn’t even time for drugs.”

And I would think – “Do you want to see me cry? Doesn’t it look like I’m already committed here?”

Listen – unless the details of your scary birth story are specifically solicited by the pregnant lady, don’t share them with her (or at least wait until after she has had her baby). And even if they ARE specifically solicited, tone it down a bit.

Those stories aren’t that bad once you’re on the other side of having done it, but it’s impossible to understand that until you do it. For someone staring down their first ever labor and wondering if she’ll ever be normal again down there, these stories aren’t that encouraging (to say the least).

Related: How to Heal Faster After Vaginal Birth 
Related: How to Choose the Perfect Baby Name

My point is – can’t we be just a little positive?

Maybe I’m making a bigger deal out of it than I have to, but honestly, I wasn’t 100% sure I really wanted to have a baby (- that’s a post for another day). Comments like these just solidified my anxiety regardless that they were meant as jokes (or at least stated light-heartedly).

There’s a good chance that a first-time pregnant woman is uncomfortable and nervous – or at the very least, sick to death of hearing how exhausted she’s about to be.

Say something encouraging

Say, “Your life is about to change in the most amazing way.

Say, “Nothing you have EVER done up before will compare with what you’re about to do”.

You don’t have to lie to be encouraging – you could say, “Those first few weeks are hard. But they are totally worth it.”

Or even “Try to remember, at 3 am, that this is the only season of your life where your tiny little baby will need you like this. Between the yawning and the crying (the baby is crying, you’re crying), take a moment to just hug him and enjoy him. Because this season will pass all too soon.”

Related: The baby sleep tip that will change everything

It would be great if more people would tell first time moms that this will be the best thing they will ever do in their lives.

(And maybe it wouldn’t hurt to mention that even if your vagina DOES fall off, it grows back. 99% of the time. Because you know. That’s a real fear.)

stupid things people say to pregnant women

stupid things not to say to pregnant women

28 thoughts on “7 Stupid Things Pregnant Women Are Sick of Hearing”

  1. THANK YOU! I am 40 weeks and 3 days as i write this and throughout my pregnancy everyone seems to have mostly snarky and scary comments to make. As life changing as it is to bring a child into the world no one seems to think twice about announcing as a toddler has a screaming fit on the floor, “this is what you have to look forward to”. Yes!!! Because we need another reminder that parenting is going to be hard. Thank you so much for being real about this. Completely made my day as i sit here and impatiently wait to meet my little man.

    Reply
      • Omg I needed to read this!! I’ve been wanting to be pregnant and experience it all for many years. But since I’ve been pregnant, I’ve hated it! Everything hurts and is uncomfortable all the time. The food aversion and mood swings don’t help. I yet have to have a great day… Thank you for calling out on all the things we are not allowed to say.

      • LOL no problem – it’s perfectly OK to hate being pregnant!!

  2. This is amazing!! Thank you sooo much. You are my spirit human.

    Reply
  3. OH MY GOODNESS!!!! THISSSSS!!!! I’m pregnant with twins, and all that I hear is negative stuff. If one more person tells me… “two college funds!” “half the sleep!” “how does the delivery even work?” “you must be super woman. I could never FATHOM having twins!” ….I will seriously scream. Haven’t people considered that expectant mothers have their own set of anxieties, and we certainly don’t need you to pile yours on!

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    • Love your post..this is my 1st pregnancy and still in 1st trimester but are already hearing these comments…and wanted to slap some people😂

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    • Have yall experienced that alot these comments come mostly from women? You think we would be more considerate and understanding to one another.

      Reply
  4. My favorite is “oh my, you’re sure getting big!”
    Me: “NO SHIT SHERLOCK THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE GROWING A HUMAN. Thank you for pointing out the painfully obvious.”

    Reply
    • I’m 4’10” and was 105lbs when I got pregnant. This meant that I began to show at like 18 weeks. So I’ve gotten the “God, you’re so big” comments for awhile now, which are always so fun. But I’m 38 weeks now and have been hearing “you look like you’re ready to pop!” for the last 5 weeks or so and I can’t tell you how annoying it is. From everyone. Coworkers, relatives, delivery drivers, grocery store clerks, random people on the street. I feel like when you become pregnant your body is now public property, free for all people, men and women to make whatever comment comes to mind first. It is SO frustrating! And, yes, I know I look like I’m about to pop, I see my damn belly every day and believe me, I wish it would just pop already!

      Reply
  5. I LOVE this post!!! This is one of the main reasons why I started my blog and wrote a book… because people say things that make your fears WORSE and can be so discouraging!! And they’ve HAD KIDS too!!! I love your realness!!

    Reply
  6. OMG, yes! I should send this to my sister who always tells me the most negative things she can think of!

    I say “I’m exhausted”, she says “Just wait, you don’t know what exhausted is”. I say “I just want it to be July so I can finally meet this little peanut”, she says “Don’t wish away your freedom, you’ll never get it back”. I say “Man, my pant are getting really tight”, she says “They’re going to stay that way, you’ll never go back to your pre-pregnancy weight!”

    Uhhh, some people are way to negative and should just remember the saying “if you have nothing nice to say, then don’t say anything”.

    Reply
    • Charlie – oh my gosh that sounds tough to deal with LOL. Good luck with the new little one (and pregnancy IS exhausting!)

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  7. Great point, people say the most random things to you when you are pregnant. It’s like they have a get out of jail free card. Personally, I sleep better now after having a baby than when I was pregnant!

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  8. My husband and I just invested in a new mattress, so when I get up 5-6 times in the night, the bed barely moves and he stays asleep. I have 2 weeks until my due date and I’m pretty much getting up every two hours at night to pee and take Tums. And the post-nasal drip. I puke pretty much every morning thanks to that lovely side effect of pregnancy.

    I think my (cue sarcasm) favorite encounter so far was having an old lady at the grocery store tell me I looked miserable. I don’t know if she was trying to be sympathetic, but it didn’t come across that way to me. Right as she told me that, I was in fact dealing with lightning crotch, swollen feet, sore back and sore hips. And yeah, I felt awful but I didn’t think it was nice of her to point it out.

    In a separate incident, I was also told that I didn’t look like I’d put on that much weight and that I would probably “bounce back like Beyonce”. THAT’s what a pregnant lady wants to hear. It made my day.

    Reply
    • Heather – oh I am SO sorry someone said that to you!!! I think most people mean well, but it’s certainly not what comes across when we are struggling like that. And LOL that is TOTALLY something a pregnant lady does want to hear!!

      Reply
  9. It drives me INSANE how much negativity I get being a first time mom. I’ve always had a strong Irish temper (thanks Dad…) Now with the added raging hormones…forget it. I’m a giant ball of rage filled fire. When someone says something out of line, I make it a point to make them feel as stupid and small as possible. My common comments are always how bad labor is and how “You’ll definitely change your mind about that epidural once labor starts.” The amount of self doubt I began to feel after hearing that countless times, I wanted to cry. Then finally I thought to myself, NO! Screw that! Screw them! It’s no ones business what I choose to do or not to do. They aren’t me, and they certainly aren’t the ones giving birth to the baby growing inside of me. It truly is mind boggling how being pregnant draws in so much unwanted attention and unsolicited advice. Everyone becomes the pregnancy guru. Everyone knows best for your child Not you, not the mother who is growing this baby No wayyyy…SMFH!!! I genuinely try to hide my belly when I’m out in public as of lately. I truly don’t want to have a jail house baby because I broke someone’s hand when they try to touch my belly. Like, who does that?!? Gtfo of here!! Anyways. Great post. So true. Love it. Keep writing!!!
    -Casey D.
    New Jersey

    Reply
  10. Thank you to whoever said, “it is totally ok to hate being pregnant: I hated every moment of it, but if you said anything to anybody, they looked at you like you didn’t want this baby. well, I had 5 kids and I absolutely hated being pregnant but I wouldn’t have given up those icky months for the world – keep telling yourself” look what I am going to get out of this. An amazing human being that Dad will never know the feeling of having it grow in you and the pain to deliver it and the JOY you feel the very second it is born. Women- we are amazing- of course we aren’t appreciated enough – but we are ok with it ’cause we aren’t babies or selfish and need pats on the backs everytime we do something amazing(which is quite often). that is just who we are ! As far as the comments: I think that all those ladies giving you unwanted advice/comments is a delayed response to their own pregnancies. They either didn’t get enough support or they actually loved it so much they want to share all their feelings and thoughts with someone going thru the same thing. Even if it is negative. It is kinda like your 1st sexual experience or 1st pap test. It is only something you can talk with , with someone who has been there/done that.

    Hang in there girlfriends. Go back and read this after you have your babies and see if you find yourself doing the same thing. I did! Forgive me! I said I’d never do that!

    P.S Sleep is over rated – there is a good country song that states – I will sleep when I die! Keep your humor

    Lots of love to all of us—Mother Teresa

    Reply

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