There are some people who won’t even understand the title of this post. They don’t know what it’s like to wonder where to start when cleaning a messy house.
They’ve never been paralyzed by a mess. Overwhelmed doesn’t even really cover it.
They’ll think – “what does that even mean?!” (These people always have clean houses, and they can organize their junk drawer with their eyes closed. Or at least they could if they had a junk drawer. But they don’t. They don’t know what it’s like to be ashamed of your messy house.) They’ve never experienced a truly messy house.
And there’s some people who will roll their eyes at the drama of it, and they’ll think “Just clean it up. Take the action, do the things.” These people are also likely to leave nasty comments about how this post is sort of stupid. (I won’t publish them.)
But then there’s other people – maybe you’re one of these people – who know what it’s like to stand in the middle of a messy room and feel absolutely paralyzed by the mess. (Me!! I AM ONE OF THESE PEOPLE!) These people will get what this post is about.
We are the people who wonder desperately “where to start cleaning my house?!”
You might even have a secret fear that your house looks like hoarders (you know, that TV show where food is molding under the couch and the neighbors are complaining?)
And I want to share some good solid advice with these people (you), on how to move forward with cleaning when you feel paralyzed by a mess.
Because I’ve been there, but – thank goodness – I’m not there anymore.
Step one in cleaning a terribly messy house sounds overly simple, but please don’t overlook it just because it’s simple:
You pick up one thing.
(Tune out the rest of the mess for now. You’re just dealing with one thing.)
Pick up one thing – the nearest thing to you – and ask yourself, “Where does this thing go?”
Does it have a home in your home? Does it need to LEAVE your home (donation/garbage)?
Then put that thing where it goes. (If it needs to be donated, make a box for donating and call that it’s home for now.)
And pick up another thing. Find it’s home or give it a home or get it out of your home.
And repeat.
And repeat.
And repeat.
I swear this works. It’s tedious yes. But it’s not overwhelming. It’s one thing at a time… and one thing at a time, you can clean up the mess.
Now, let’s talk about this in detail, but I know the above seems over-simplified.
You’ll need some structure and routine to keep you on track!
IF your mess is as bad as I image it is, picking up one thing at a time and putting it away is actually going to take days (and that is ok), but a PLAN will help you keep moving forward.
Start by printing a simple home cleaning planner – with daily + weekly task lists, spring + fall cleaning checklists, and room by room cleaning checklists to make sure it all gets DONE.
If you regularly lose a weekend to a cleaning ‘blitz’ – that doesn’t actually accomplish anything because you just bounce from room to room – a planner with checklist will help.
CLICK HERE TO GET OUR HOME CLEANING PLANNER!
(THIS POST PROBABLY CONTAINS AFFILIATE LINKS. OUR FULL DISCLOSURE POLICY IS REALLY BORING, BUT YOU CAN FIND IT HERE.)
Related: A Simple Solution to Clutter & Disorganization
When you want to clean up “the mess” in your house but don’t know where to start:
With your printed cleaning schedule in hand, you can start to tackle the mess.
You know what I’m talking about when I say “the mess”.
It’s not like you had a clean house 6 hours ago, but a kid’s birthday party has turned your home into a danger zone. Little piles of melty ice-cream everywhere and paper cups behind the couch.
No, that kind of mess isn’t THAT hard to clean up. (If you have THAT kind of mess, you really just need this stuff.) Although this advice will apply to how to clean a trashed house as well – any mess, little-people-parties included.
I’m talking about THE MESS. The big bad mess. When you have let the clutter and junk take over. There’s piles of laundry in the living room, you can’t see the kitchen counters, can’t remember the last time you cleaned out the fridge. You may or may not find a bag of potatoes – or what used to be potatoes – sitting at the back of the pantry.
If you take a moment to look around your home you might even feel shame and despair. But you also look around and feel that sinking feeling that says you won’t EVER be able to clean it up, because you just do NOT know where to start.
It’s hopeless.
THAT kind of mess.
This is the sort of paralyzing mess that for some reason, wants me to live in it. (I don’t. I work very hard to not allow my home to be messy. I am not a naturally tidy person, which is baffling because I LOVE it when my home is tidy, and I grew up in a tidy home. I don’t know where I developed the messy habits.)
I have learned that it is far easier to KEEP my home clean than to have to try cleaning a messy house once it gets to the paralyzing mess stage.
But, if you are still there, paralyzed in your mess… well, I get it and I have the path to the light at the end of the tunnel for you.
Related: How to Conquer Clutter When it’s Emotionally Difficult
Related: Tackling Clothing Clutter: Confessions of a Clothes Hoarder
First, two things to consider (to start cleaning a messy house):
If you are so overwhelmed that you don’t believe it’s possible to clean your house, you might need to ask for help and that’s ok, but then be willing to let the helper help. It’s really frustrating to have someone ask you to help them and then not be allowed to do anything. If you feel like you need to be in control, that’s something you’ll have to address.
The odd time when my home DOES return to this state of overwhelming mess (like- um – if I have a baby and forget how to do “life”) I ask for help when I need it.
Also, consider addressing the clutter and disorganization in your home – FOR GOOD. Sometimes just cleaning up isn’t enough.
Addressing the clutter in my home took me a LONG way towards never feeling paralyzed by the mess anymore. But I didn’t know where to start, and I actually needed someone to TEACH me how to do it.
If your house is constantly buried in clutter and mess, check out The Organized Home Course by Hilary from Pulling Curls. It is created just for people like us, who need to be given bite-sized tips & lessons on organization so we know where stuff is, save time & feel more peace at home. (Because we do ACTUALLY deserve to feel at peace in our homes!)
This is the perfect course for organizing a messy home if:
- You always need hours of notice before having guests because you’re embarrassed about the state of your home.
- You’re always worried you misplaced an important document or won’t be able to find things when you need them.
- You’ve ever wondered why can’t YOU enjoy peaceful time on the couch or enjoying your family instead of always stressing out about the state of your home?
If you need someone to TEACH you how to address clutter and get organized, Hilary is your girl, and you can get 10% off the course here with the code MOP10.
But even if you choose not to ask for help or deal with the clutter, you can clean up the mess.
Remember:
You pick up one thing. The nearest thing to you – and ask yourself, “Where does this thing go?”
Does it have a home in your home? Does it need to LEAVE your home (donation/garbage)?
Then put that thing where it goes. (If it needs to be donated, make a box for donating and call that it’s home for now.)
And pick up another thing. Find it’s home or give it a home or get it out of your home.
And repeat.
And repeat.
And repeat.
I swear this works. It’s tedious yes. But it’s not overwhelming. It’s one thing at a time… and one thing at a time, you can clean up the mess.
Work through one room per day (or half a room per day) according to the cleaning schedule you made.
Once your house is tidy, these 6 daily habits for a clean home will help you KEEP it that way.
Related: Secrets for Keeping the House Clean With Small Kids
Related: 7 Tangible & Life-Changing Benefits of Decluttering
If you try to do this but get distracted or stuck or struggle with how to motivate yourself to clean a messy house:
Here’s where asking for help can be awesome – because there is an automatic built in job for the helper. (Plus having someone else involved can be really good cleaning motivation!)
Have someone (a patient someone) hand you one thing at a time and ask “where does this go?”
And repeat.
Having someone else there to keep you on track might be the only way to keep yourself going the first time you do this.
But you CAN do this 🙂
Once things are put properly in their homes (or out of your home) tackle the “dirt” – which you will inevitably find under “the mess” – with the most natural, safe, and cost effective household cleaners you can find. (For me that’s been Norwex – this one tub of cleaner has lasted me for THREE YEARS and I have no qualms about getting it on my skin. They even have a system for washing windows and mirrors with ONLY water!)
More From Mommy on Purpose:
Where do you start when you’re drowning in CLUTTER?
Clean kitchen habits you can adopt today
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Thank you for this. It helps to do one thing at time, to pray and to be thankful when its done . Yay☺
Absolutely Angela!
I just luv my norwex and your article. everyone should have a window/mirror cloth and clean with just water. let me know if you don’t have a consultant. I can answer and supply norwex products. thank you tammy
Thanks for the offer Tammy! I am a consultant myself 🙂
Good words Angela! I feel somehow prayer is part of it.
I love the idea that prayer is a part of it. I never even considered that. Thank you, Rebekah for mentioning prayer!
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I love this! I’m kind of a hoarder but after cleaning out my grandfather’s stuff and taking care of my grandmother for a year my home got a bit neglected and I’m a bit overwhelmed.
Aw I’m sorry to hear that Melissa! It is SO hard to stay on top of your own stuff when someone else needs your attention. Just one thing at a time, and you will get it back under control 🙂
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Good advice. Thanks for helping me get Unstuck. I just finished spending half an hour clearing my kitchen countertops. Used a timer. Amazed at what I accomplished. I’m going to make myself a dozen signs on bright yellow paper, ‘NO CLUTTER ZONE, put it away or give it away’. to remind myself to put things away before they pile up. I hope posting them by Front door, credenza, garage door, mud room, bathrooms, bedrooms etc. Will be a goid training program. Going to take it to the next level and get up off the couch during commercials and clear the dining room table. Great way to spend Memorial day weekend. Remembering and being grateful for the abundance we have and Those who fought or are fighting for our freedom. I am Blessing the items we no longer need and getting them to organizations that help the less fortunate. God bless you and God Bless America
YES YES YES!! We can be clutter free Paula! Thank you for reading and God bless you too 🙂
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This works thank you getting ready to go on a trip and do not want to come home to a mess. Doing just one thing at a time does make it so much easier and I second Paula’s message God bless you and our country and thank you again. Laurie
Hey Laurie! YES this totally works!! Enjoy your trip 🙂
I really appreciate this, as a full time working mom of 3 it’s not so easy to keep up with home but I love that I’m not the only one whose has felt that way…thank you!!
HI Mari! You are ABSOLUTELY not the only one!! Thank you for reading 🙂
YES YESSS!! I am so glad to not be alone in this black hole. As I began reading and kept reading, you described me to a T right down to what is in the fridge. I recently retired and the first months were a like a “Jail break” . Soon however, I found myself not so much depressed but more like…..in shock. Not being able to move. I went on to have some contractors build a wall around my yard. That was at the end of June.. Now it is October and the construction is still not finished. My yard is trashed, my house is trashed and the new studio I decided to build is totallly not done plus the contractor has become and irresponsible child. It’s ugly. But… Carly , I am going to not despair and I will begin to employ your advice right now. I just happen to have a pile of clothes right handy to me on this couch. Here is to cleanliness and ZERO CLUTTER ZONE BECOMING ME. God Bless Us, Everyone.
I hope you kicked that pile of clothes right into the drawers Marie 😉 (And you are TOTALLY VERY not alone!)
Yes this has been me lately! I just thought I was overwhelmed but it’s I’m paralyzed by the clutter smh! Thanks for posting this!!! Us Moms need to stick together ??
YES WE DO Christina!
This was amazing and scary at the same time, because you described my mess all the way down to the potatoes in the pantry! I found a sense of relief knowing that I’m not the only one that gets overwhelmed sometimes and that we’re not perfect, but we do our best.
HI Brooke! I so wish the potato thing was just something I made up – but it totally happened to me a couple years ago. You are SO not the only one. I promise!
Oh my goodness! I’m right there with you, Brooke. We literally have a “laundry sofa” which looks brand new because nobody can ever sit there. A few weeks ago, we walked into the house and asked, “what is that horrible smell? ” Eventually we determined it was the bag of potatoes that had gone bad in the pantry. I absolutely took comfort in knowing I have kindred spirits out there! I’m going to tackle the kitchen table today. Blessings to my fellow clutterbugs. ♡ Diana
LOL Diana! It’s so funny that it’s always potatoes. I wonder why?
OMG! potatoes. Know the feeling et al. A few dats back- or weeks maybe- realized I didn ‘really look forward to getting home. Knowing I am not alone, and finding advice helps a lot.(I had gotten to the point of hoping I would never have to call an ambulance or fire dept because I’d be embarrassed) But have started and slready feel better. So does the cat.
Thank you, thank you, thank you. I need this so much. Spent all day Monday doing genealogy because I couldn’t bear the thought of even trying.
And i can relate to what you said about people who DON’T get us. And it does help to have a helper, i had a friend who took two days off from work and helped tremendously without judging. You do have the path to the light at the end of the tunnel! Bless you for sharing.
I’m so right there with you Kitty – I do other things to avoid cleaning when it’s bad too! But the only way to get it fixed is to tackle it head on – ONE THING AT A TIME!! I really does help to have some support if you can let go and let them help. I’m so glad you have a friend like that 🙂
It’s like you interviewed me for this article! And seeing how many others feel this way, it truly relieves some of the shame feeling like I’m “broken” because I can’t keep my apartment clean. My sister struggles, too, I swear it’s genetic and we got it from our dad. I’m currently in cleaning mode because I’m going out of town for a few days and I need a sitter to come feed my cats and birds. One thing that really works for me is to just set a timer for 25 minutes and just go do whatever you see, sometimes it’s just breaking down those darn Amazon and Chewy boxes! I also try to just go in “layers,” rather than a single room at a time. A big problem for me is that I have diagnosed OCD, and I have it under control, but cleaning sets me off. I’ll get everything “almost perfect” and now I’m in OCD anxiety “everything must be perfect” mode. I’ve never been good at middle ground. If I do something, I go way beyond. Coming home and seeing things out of place will make me anxious and then I get overwhelmed and give up and let the entropy ensue. Thank you so much for writing this!
This whole article spoke to me and how I feel about my house currently. I’ve never been a good housekeeper and now that I have a baby, and my husband and I work opposite schedules, I feel even more paralyzed by the mess in my home and it only seems to be getting worse by the day. I’m going to try this and see what it does for me and for my home.
Hi Aubrey – O my goodness girl, I KNOW how having a baby can make it all feel like it’s piling up. I promise, one thing at a time is the way to go! I had to ask my mom to come help me… I just couldn’t do it alone with the baby and it was getting out of hand.
This is so true. I said this year I was going to change, but time has flown by so fast I really didn’t get anything done. My house is a horrible mess and I would rather just sit and quilt because I don’t know where to start. Hard part is that it is summer now and my 4 kids are home from school and want to go out all the time so it is harder to get anything done in the house. I am going to try to remember to do the pick up one thing cleaning. I’m sure it will work. I also have tried but keep forgetting that every time I get up or leave a room to pick up one thing and put it where it belongs.
It’s easy to forget and get comfortable in our habits… try sticky notes or an alarm on your phone – set the alarm for every hour and when it goes off, put one thing away!
I definitely get paralyzed by the mess. Breaking it into pieces like this helps a lot. I tend to break it into larger pieces by grouping things together, and then going back to each group from there. That way I don’t feel like I have to re-tread the same area if I run into multiple things that belong together.
HI Heidi! That sounds like a VERY good system! Still breaking it into smaller, less overwhelming tasks, but saving time as well.
Hi Carly, This was very informative thank you sooo much; I’m very clean and tidy a Libra who had almost OCD, but 3 years ago I was diagnosed with a thyroid issue; I’m single divorced one daughter who is married with her own kids but I have become lax with my house work. I laughed with people when I say maybe I should get back into entertain just to make myself clean up (LOL). Seriously this has helped me tremendously again thank you.
I’m so glad you found it helpful Brenda!! (And hey – ANY reason to clean up is a good reason Lol!)
Another excellent site is Flylady.net
Marla Ciley is the best at guiding you through your chaos. ( “can’t have anyone over” syndrome)
O I’ll have to check that out. Thanks Cathy!