8 THINGS THAT TOTALLY SHOCKED ME ABOUT POSTPARTUM RECOVERY

[{"selector":"#anim-137ede68-86a2-46ad-9cd0-f5c6e7baa9b8","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2500,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.2, 0.6, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-7712e782-f208-4a72-b9b6-4150637c8aa1","keyframes":{"transform":["translate3d(0px, -209.42759%, 0)","translate3d(0px, 0px, 0)"]},"delay":0,"duration":2500,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.2, 0.6, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-5e592de6-c1fa-4574-a8af-e512bedec4c4","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(.3,0,.55,1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-1f736c6e-8983-4c7e-a9e6-a30b97aa2ef7","keyframes":{"transform":["scale(0.3333333333333333)","scale(1)"]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(.3,0,.55,1)","fill":"forwards"}] [{"selector":"#anim-b6c77bbe-9abe-4620-8537-b4f43be23856","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-1b8615ce-1255-46eb-950b-3e5b2b73ac69","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2200,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] Learn more

Do not read this if you are easily disgusted, or if you are going to comment here and tell me how gross it is that I wrote about this stuff, or that I have no filter.

[{"selector":"#anim-22f07af9-7971-44d2-97c1-dca62b03f325","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-48f9565c-faac-4ec2-847d-78e93068cf43","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2200,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-62fab8cd-60e9-4210-a517-a9e9d2608089","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(.3,0,.55,1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-2850a9a4-ea5f-4caf-9c4b-aeacba1bb2e2","keyframes":{"transform":["scale(0.3333333333333333)","scale(1)"]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(.3,0,.55,1)","fill":"forwards"}] Learn more

[{"selector":"#anim-c3acb1ea-14fc-4d6a-8fc8-75918e45bcec","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-979c620f-6ddc-467e-8f9e-80a620901ce0","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2200,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-b94be82e-9722-4855-903e-2b049551f04e","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(.3,0,.55,1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-e3bf19df-b537-4b68-9b60-d046a0ccf3d1","keyframes":{"transform":["scale(0.3333333333333333)","scale(1)"]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(.3,0,.55,1)","fill":"forwards"}] This is all the stuff I wish I had known and tips for faster postpartum recovery. Do not read this if you are a dude, unless you are married to a very pregnant lady and want to be supportive. LEARN MORE

[{"selector":"#anim-769fb60b-37aa-42de-8640-e78b32cf9671","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":600,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.2, 0.6, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-1c2acda1-4d11-4b90-96c8-c944aa8a28ed","keyframes":{"transform":["translate3d(0px, 152.81265%, 0)","translate3d(0px, 0px, 0)"]},"delay":0,"duration":600,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.2, 0.6, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-7a71a0dc-d6ad-4c0a-af8d-6807d890b46d","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-f633ec83-1110-4130-9c8d-a9d44b36035a","keyframes":{"transform":["translate3d(-120.0658%, 0px, 0)","translate3d(0px, 0px, 0)"]},"delay":0,"duration":600,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-80c3a610-1f5d-42d7-bee7-8aa9398ae67a","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":600,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-0f9d7e69-542a-4a59-ba57-a0a1fa53cc75","keyframes":{"transform":["scale(0.15)","scale(1)"]},"delay":0,"duration":600,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"forwards"}] And, if this is you (pregnant for the first time), please know that I’m not writing this stuff to scare you. I’m a high anxiety personality – I scare VERY easily – and that is NOT my intention with this post. Learn more

THE BLOOD. OK, this one I did read about this in other articles, but they didn’t make it clear how truly messy it is.

[{"selector":"#anim-c03e168b-9396-41b2-ab73-26dfb0934fdf","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-71e47a4b-f5bb-411d-b4a9-e745cfd30c05","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2200,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-d03b3043-aef2-4c0c-8a9d-18eb6c9f0683","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(.3,0,.55,1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-61832aeb-1f41-4b56-b6cd-8ffd35a4d3d0","keyframes":{"transform":["scale(0.3333333333333333)","scale(1)"]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(.3,0,.55,1)","fill":"forwards"}] [{"selector":"#anim-c534b1ff-c3ee-498d-90e8-f377421dbf48","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":600,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.2, 0.6, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-b3ba3974-3b5a-4fa4-8f48-10eaeb4443d4","keyframes":{"transform":["translate3d(-116.29393%, 0px, 0)","translate3d(0px, 0px, 0)"]},"delay":0,"duration":600,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.2, 0.6, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] Learn more

It felt like there was a golf ball lodged between my bum cheeks for days. ( I did use this magical cream for hemorrhoids. Why isn’t EVERYONE talking about this stuff?)

[{"selector":"#anim-be88d725-c27b-41f6-9f5b-2f7c931d99c1","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-24026051-8464-4f80-aeb4-c909bdb6487f","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2200,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-50d2add5-4c69-4e1d-a346-7f18704a513a","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(.3,0,.55,1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-744084ec-0cf4-420a-a3f8-7865a9c77afb","keyframes":{"transform":["scale(0.3333333333333333)","scale(1)"]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(.3,0,.55,1)","fill":"forwards"}] [{"selector":"#anim-2e59068c-2591-4b48-8f27-d02cc37f9d1d","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":600,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.2, 0.6, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-81ce32ad-71c0-446a-9d50-a22c677d1a1b","keyframes":{"transform":["translate3d(-116.31945%, 0px, 0)","translate3d(0px, 0px, 0)"]},"delay":0,"duration":600,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.2, 0.6, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] Learn more

I had heard about the first poop being scary and painful– that wasn’t unexpected. I had not ever heard about the first poop being uncontrollable. Yes, I pooped myself postpartum. Three times, in fact.

[{"selector":"#anim-b96fcc4a-8827-4270-866f-c52a2460f793","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-3fddd9ba-64c6-4520-8c1c-6634e6fb6b94","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2200,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-b2702cdb-7c51-41cc-a90b-8f018171c334","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(.3,0,.55,1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-14928e34-cb0b-4d33-bf87-7a7fa6449e3e","keyframes":{"transform":["scale(0.3333333333333333)","scale(1)"]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(.3,0,.55,1)","fill":"forwards"}] [{"selector":"#anim-392ea0d2-5101-473f-995d-6da1a8afa10a","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":600,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.2, 0.6, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-59b8c620-d16c-4a83-a950-d956862ae87e","keyframes":{"transform":["translate3d(-117.01388%, 0px, 0)","translate3d(0px, 0px, 0)"]},"delay":0,"duration":600,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.2, 0.6, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] Learn more

I had also read about this in other posts, but again, not prepared for the intensity. Everything I read said the peri-bottle would make it easier. I hated that freaking peri bottle. It did NOT help. NOTHING helped.

[{"selector":"#anim-2e7df2f9-c611-4ca5-a4a4-f4852afef685","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-d035716c-d679-48ee-91f1-26aaf03d777b","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2200,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-d4e8c0d2-86a4-41fc-a3cf-3e729b0ad1a5","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(.3,0,.55,1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-98d68a64-a59b-4b3d-8f2f-b328e9caa6c3","keyframes":{"transform":["scale(0.3333333333333333)","scale(1)"]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(.3,0,.55,1)","fill":"forwards"}] Learn more

SWIPE UP FOR MORE INFO!

[{"selector":"#anim-ebbfc470-bc17-47ce-99ab-5acc9b0a5a1b","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-4f4b5f52-d84b-418a-93df-235127f163f7","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":600,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.2, 0.6, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-3a55a76f-18e2-4bd2-bc3f-4a1d7f09aeb4","keyframes":{"transform":["translate3d(-114.8265%, 0px, 0)","translate3d(0px, 0px, 0)"]},"delay":0,"duration":600,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.2, 0.6, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] Learn more

FOR MORE MOMMY ON PURPOSE CONTENT JUST CLICK THE LOGO BELOW.

[{"selector":"#anim-e49ba60a-99c2-443e-b59e-01e17685aadd","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":2000,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.4, 0.4, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-c3e16bea-ebe8-4d12-97f9-a588da36fc55","keyframes":{"opacity":[0,1]},"delay":0,"duration":600,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.2, 0.6, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] [{"selector":"#anim-205b6415-0038-4885-a0a4-399180e3ac4f","keyframes":{"transform":["rotate(-91deg) translate3d(0px, -839.22927%, 0) rotate(91deg)","rotate(-91deg) translate3d(0px, 0px, 0) rotate(91deg)"]},"delay":0,"duration":600,"easing":"cubic-bezier(0.2, 0.6, 0.0, 1)","fill":"both"}] Arrow